Don’t should on me…

and I will try not to should on myself.

I read that in a book on parental grief..small book,  most excellent book.  The book is titled “Am I Going Crazy?”  For bereaved parents, family members, friends, therapists and grief-related organizations by Diana M. Cimador Roscigno. Diana is a bereaved mom.

Don’t should on me.  We should on each other all the time don’t we?  She should do this, he should do that…they should do that, they would feel better.  Feel better…love that one too….we aren’t sick, grief isn’t a sickness, we don’t have the flu…our child has died, just a little different.

Don’t should on me.  You should stay busy, you shouldn’t be so busy, you should eat more, you should walk more, you guys should get away.

Don’t should on me.  You should smile more, you should get some rest, you should stay active, you should do something fun.

Don’t should on me.

Don’t should on yourself.

Stop the “I should have called him”,  I should have known his travel plans,  I should have known he was traveling so late,  I should have prayed harder for safe travel , I should have known the moment he died,  I should have known he was drowning.

I should have viewed his body, I should have tousled his curls, I should have stroked his cheek.

Stop shoulding on me, I will work on not shoulding on myself….and between us there will be a lot less should in our lives.