Puppy Breath. Six reasons why we foster.

I have a little one curled up on my feet as I type, about 8 weeks old, rescued from death row. I get asked how I can let our foster dogs or puppies go, don’t I get attached? Doesn’t it break my heart? The short answer is yes. I miss those little noses burrowing into my collar and sighing. Puppy sighs and puppy breath, both touch my heart.

I reflected on what is defective in me that I can let go? Am I hard-hearted, do I have an attachment disorder? Maybe I don’t love well. I unloaded all of this on Doug one evening after he came home from working a 14 hour day, he smiled and asked if we could talk about the puppy’s diarrhea instead. Which I happily talked about, you can tell so much about an animal’s health from what comes out the non-barking end.

I have concluded it is a gift to be able to love and let go. The abundant returns of fostering outweigh the pain of saying goodbye. Here are the top six returns of fostering:

1. 

   Our Micah.  Doug met the transport from a high kill shelter in Ohio, and there he was, this shy scared puppy, so reserved. We are “failed fosters” with Micah, he will be with us seven years this fall. Micah is the dog of our grief, he was a young dog when our son Justin was killed. He has seen us at our very lowest and most vulnerable, and he has never has abandoned us.

2. 

   Bath time. The first bath, our guests need freshening up, no different than any other weary traveler. My heart melts at those liquid brown eyes looking up at you. We warm towels in the dryer, especially for the little ones.  There is a trail of towels and water through the house, I pass off the puppy to Doug while I clean up. Doug tells me I have the puppy too warm, I worry they are too cold. We laugh, it is so reminiscent of when the boys were small.

3. 

   The rescue smile. Pictures tell the story far better than words. Sometimes you get that smile the first day, sometimes it takes a couple of days. They are priceless and humbling.

4. The enforced pause. It is so easy to rush through life, to miss the small joys in each day. Puppies wriggle in the sun and grass, laughing with delight, they teach me to stand still and feel the sun, to connect with the earth. They stop to smell everything, I learn to stop. They find bugs and bees, things lost out in the yard, every time you step outside it is a new adventure. One foster dog had never seen running water out of the faucet, so you slow down and show him all the things he never saw because he was shut in a room for months on end. Dogs give the gift of mindfulness.

5. 

   Puppy sighs and puppy breath. Puppy breath is intoxicating.  And puppy sighs, not just puppy sighs though, big dog sighs are worth their weight in gold. There is nothing quite like having a little one bury their nose in your collar and sigh with contentment.  All the tension leaves their little body, those are sacred moments. Two souls at peace with one another, such a healing balm for wounded hearts. And big dog sighs, they can take a little time, but eventually they will stretch out at your feet one day, and sigh. You wish you could take every bad memory from them, you can’t, so you hold space for them to regain their trust. Peace steals through the house.

6. The adopters. How rich our life has become with meeting the adopters. There are no strangers, dog people understand one another and a bond forms. What a privilege it has been to meet these kind and loving hearts, they give me hope for this world. Our hearts overflow when we receive a new picture or an email update about how their new family member is settling in their new home.

Saying goodbye is hard,  I tell our adopters that our goodbyes will be quick. We keep it cheerful and short,  and send that pup off on a grand adventure. The door shuts and I cry. Doug takes me for Chinese food and ice cream. I clean the house and cry over puppy toys. We laugh over the stuffed monkey who no longer squeaks and is down to three limbs. Doug puts away the crate. Micah stretches out on his bed and sighs. We look forward to sleeping through the night. I catch up on correspondence and writing, the house grows still again.

Their adoption is part of the gift of fostering, you open your heart and you love with complete abandonment.  All we have is the present, so you live the moment with the soul that needs you. Their goodbye makes space for the next weary soul who needs a safe place and a warm bed for night. There is always room for paw prints on our hearts, always time for puppy sighs.