Shadowboxing…

I have started, derailed, started over, and derailed so many times today.  Falling back to my “do the next thing, whatever the next thing is…don’t think…just do” mantra. My mother’s set of questions would be, does everyone have a clean place to sleep, a fresh change of clothes, and something to eat?  If you have a sink full of dishes, wash them, dirty clothes, wash them. Bottom line, don’t throw the fight, get back up, stay focused.  Chose one project to finish and then finish it, completely.

I would like to finish a simple shadow box, it should not take long at all (just all day).  Holding the shadow box, I was struck by the irony of how grieving is like shadowboxing. We duck and evade, attack and retreat an unseen opponent, only this opponent, unlike a true shadow, can land a punch. I find this opponent frustrating, there is no visible body that telegraphs their next move, no eyes to watch, no muscles tensing to tell me where the next hit is coming from, until you are reeling from the hit. It is a sparring match with no timer, no rules.

I open the shadow box, I know exactly what it will hold.  Justin had given me a Mother’s Day card, most likely May 2007 or 2008.  I was so humbled by the card and treasured it, kept it always in my desk drawer.  He loved the drawing of the pandas on the front but as you can see, he rewrote the sentiments. Oh Justin, you were the one who taught me this, I take no credit for the wisdom you wrote.

Doug has a great idea so that I don’t have to cut the card, but still show the inside….so the shadow box becomes a shared work, an expression of both of us.  A heavy Celtic rosary came back with Justin’s belongings, the Gospel in miniature, it curves naturally around the card. A singular picture of Justin on the steps to Calvary at the Grotto in Emmitsburg, to remind us that “the road to Calvary is also, and at the same time, the road to Paradise”, (Gerald Vann, O.P. The Pain of Christ and the Sorrow of God.)

I think  your card Justin is  just one more way you continue to guide and teach us, reminding us of how to live, how to figure out the next right thing to do.

They are worth repeating,

Always keep the mind of the Church, Accept others as being made in the image and likeness of God, Just be yourself, Trust in Jesus, Follow God.

I return the same message back to you my Justin,

You taught, I heard, so grateful.