To Justin’s friends,

We received a beautiful letter from friends of Justin, they opened by apologizing for not writing sooner but they did not know where to begin. I totally understand. I have much on my heart to share with each of you, and I don’t know where to begin either. So please accept what will most likely be a stumbling attempt to thank each of you for the gifts you have given us.

Justin loved each of you, he cared deeply about what was going on in your lives, he treasured the time he could spend with you. He always spoke so lovingly of his friends, and he kept every card you ever sent to him. Some of you we did not meet until Justin’s funeral, but we felt like we knew you. We were honored to have many of you under our roof for those few days. I can remember lying in bed, unable to sleep, unwilling to miss a moment of the soft drift of your voices from downstairs. We were grateful for the privilege of having you home, for it did feel for a moment that we could call you our children too. For all of you who slept on uncomfortable couches, patches of hard floor, and already full rooms, thank you.

For all of you that flew in from all over the country to honor Justin and support us, thank you. We know it cost you dearly to fly and make travel arrangements. It is hard to express in words how much it meant to us to have you there, knowing the sacrifices you had made financially to come his funeral.

For the Christmas cards, letters, Mass cards, and encouraging Facebook moments, thank you. For those of you who have sent us pictures of special life events and your children, I slide them under the glass top of my desk so that I can see those much loved faces when I sit down to work. I too keep all your cards and notes.

For your understanding when you have graciously invited us to an important event in your life, and we said no. It takes a while before you can re-engage with life, but our hearts were with you and it meant the world to us to be invited.

For writing to us and sharing memories and stories of Justin that we had not heard, they are more precious than you can know. You tell them so well that we can see Justin in our mind’s eye and live that memory with you. We cry, but that’s okay, keep writing your memories and stories of him.

For putting your arm around our shoulders when visiting his grave, sobs choking our throats because we didn’t want to cry in front of you and scare you away, and knowing if we cried, you would stand your ground and not leave us. Thank you.

For embracing us and making us feel like family when we did venture out to a life event, thank you. Every moment was golden, we loved hearing about your lives, your hopes and dreams, the places you have been, the places you hope to go. We marvel at your children! How Justin would have delighted in your children also! We look at you and the families you are building and we have such hope for the future. We came home with full hearts and beautiful memories. For in those moments, he lives again, through you.  For letting his name flow so naturally in conversation, hearing his name is like music to us. We cry, but that’s okay.

For having the courage to reach out and send us pictures that we had never seen, we stand in awe of your courage. We looked at that beloved face, that smile, and we cried. Still crying, but I would not trade one of those pictures for the world.

Each of you possess such courage and selfless love. You have taught us what friendship truly means, and what a gift it is, how much it enriches our lives, makes them bearable even. Many fear to reach out and speak to parents who have had a child die, it can be terribly uncomfortable and even awkward, there is such a risk involved. Yet, each of you have cast aside your own comfort and reached out, and in doing so you have been our comfort and joy.

We have the opportunity to create new gardens around our home. We are building a garden to honor you, Justin’s friends. We have planted three deep pink roses so far. The meaning attached to roses that are deep pink are of appreciation and gratitude, the color of thankfulness. We have a beautiful trellis to install in the garden, planted there will be one of Justin’s favorite roses, a Zephirine Drouhin, an old fashioned climbing Bourbon Rose, nearly thornless, and graceful. They are

one of the kindest roses I have every met, they grow and bloom with little fuss, I have even had them bloom at Christmas. The first Christmas after Justin’s death, the rose bushes were full of dark pink blooms. We will plant daylilies, and I will fuss and fret over the garden and coax the roses to bloom. And we will think of each of you and be grateful for the gift of friendship that you have so generously poured out on us.

With grateful hearts and much love to each of you, Terri and Doug